Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Javyn's LiveJournal:

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Monday, November 10th, 2008
6:06 pm	No Kiwi, that's enough. My cat always wants to sit on me now. I think Jon spilled crap on the keyboard...it is sticking something fierce. Anyway, I've decided that alcohol likes to kill me when I drink it, so I will reserve it only for special occasions. For example, a gathering of family or friends, or a romantic type dinner. That is it. No more. Nada. Now I just need to convince my body of that... HAHA oh god the cat is poking me in the arm because she really wants to sit on my lap. Time to go play a game... Current Mood: determined (Comment on this)
Friday, June 13th, 2008
10:09 pm	Chicago still sucks It sucks here, but not because of the town. Actually it is a lot more fun that I remember it, but going on vacation with moms...well...it is not a good idea. I am not going to write more though because I need to control my emotions for the remainder of the vacation. The aquarium was fun...I love fishies...and we should hopefully be going to the zoo on a beautiful day tomorrow. Laters. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 15th, 2008
3:24 pm	Rest in Peace, Leif Bernhard Olsen Grandpa passed away on March 13th at 7am. I didn't get the call until 6:45, so I was unable to make it there before he passed. When I got there, he had just died, and I held his hand and thought "How odd it is to hold this warm hand and not feel a pulse." He always had such strong hands because of his love of working outdoors, but those strong hands were gentle when he held his children and grandchildren. Even in death, those hands still looked strong despite the rest of him looking so frail. The chaplain was there, so we all said prayers together and blessed him before they took him out. March is such a hard month since last year, and this year it was especially difficult to watch the decline and then gradual (but mostly peaceful) death of the beloved patriarch of our family. The world feels a little more empty without him in it. Current Mood: in mourning (Comment on this)
Monday, March 10th, 2008
3:53 pm	The death watch I've been pretty sad lately because yesterday I visited grandpa and I can tell he is on his way out of this life. He hasn't eaten or had anything to drink for 4 days now. It's so hard on everyone because we are such a close family, but at the same time we are gaining strength from one another. I'm just waiting for the phone call that is supposed to come a few hours before he passes on so that I can be there with him and whatever family will be there as he leaves us for wherever. I keep thinking now about all the good memories I have with him, and about all the funny things he has ever done. I remember him telling us about how his grandmother was a bootlegger, and he got a wild streak from her that caused him to be a wild child while he was in the Navy. Despite his mischievious past, he grew up into a wonderful man. He was such a great grandfather, always extremely loving and watching out for us. One memory that keeps cropping up makes me sort of sad, though. Him and I are the coin collectors of the family, so every year he would buy me the set of the state quarters. When they first started coming out, he told me, "Now, you will get these every year for your birthday until 2008, because that is when the last of them will be out. If I live that long." And I said, "Don't be silly. Of course you'll be around," because honestly I couldn't imagine a time when he wouldn't be around. He was the big tough Norwegian man, and he sprang back from illness so many times and it is hard for me to accept this time he won't be getting better. Happy and sad memories, but the man I see dying in the hospice bed isn't really him. It's so hard to see him now, unable to move and fading in and out of consciousness. He's so emaciated and I just wonder how he can't be in pain, but luckily he isn't. I was there holding his hand for a long time though, and I'm so glad I did because he told me "I love you, Laura." before I walked out that door. It will be over soon, and then it will be time to celebrate the life of a very important part of our family. Current Mood: crushed (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 6th, 2008
6:23 pm	Is it hot in here? Yes, actually it is hot in here. It's not just me. *giggle* Alright, so I totally forgot what I was going to type. Oh yeah, I was actually going to do the writer's block thing and talk about the worst date I ever had. I went to a dance with this guy in high school because I was pretty desperate and lonely. He was very immature and kind of sleezy, so I didn't even care when he was MIA for most of the dance. I just had fun with my friends. Actually, I guess it wasn't that bad of a date then. After that, he was very confused and hurt about why I didn't want to date him anymore. His loss. :) Current Mood: bitchy (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
3:03 pm	No more Favre? This blows. 'Nuff said. Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Monday, March 3rd, 2008
6:29 pm	It doesn't feel like a year ago... I know I've been complaining about Jon a lot. Yes, he works too much and I miss him. No sane person should work that much, which even further convinces me that he's not sane. That is beside the point. My point is that I know he is working for us, and he promised it would get better, and I believe him. It will either get better there, or he will start looking for another job. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 2nd, 2008
11:14 am	WORKY WORK! BUSY BEE! It's mild outside, the sun is shining, and I'm feelin' fine. Well, better anyway. Busy but fun day today. I should go start it. Current Mood: okay (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 28th, 2008
5:05 pm	Linger lyrics, and some empty words "If you, if you could return Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade I’m sure I’m not being rude But it’s just your attitude It’s tearing me apart It’s ruining everything And I swore, I swore I would be true And honey so did you So why were you holding her hand Is that the way we stand Were you lying all the time Was it just a game to you But I’m in so deep You know I’m such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger Oh, I thought the world of you I thought nothing could go wrong But I was wrong I was wrong If you, if you could get by Trying not to lie Things wouldn’t be so confused And I wouldn’t feel so used But you always really knew I just wanna be with you And I’m in so deep You know I’m such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to. do you have to Do you have to let it linger And I’m in so deep You know I’m such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger You know I’m such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger Do you have to let it linger Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger" Sad, missing someone right now. It's you, it's always been you, That I can never hug, that I can never kiss, It's always been you that I miss. But you'll never know, because I can't tell, I had a taste of what I wanted, And it just leaves me haunted. I'm still so raw inside But there's nothing I can do, Because I can never have you. Sorry. Just depressed or sad I guess. It's coming up on a very sad day, the one year anniversary of the passing of someone that was very important to me. Sadness tends to inspire me to write. Current Mood: rejected (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 19th, 2008
9:39 pm	It feels like vomit... Well, my stomach feels like vomit. I hate that every time I take a nap, I feel sick when I wake up. That doesn't happen when I wake up in the morning...I don't get it. It's my mom's birthday today. She is 50. I tried calling her, but she is at The Lion King musical. Lucky. I have a friend that may be moving back home...I hope so. I guess we'll see. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 10th, 2008
12:05 am	Still lonely. I wish he cared enough to see me every now and then. I hope it gets better. (Comment on this)
Thursday, January 17th, 2008
7:21 pm	D*mn wall squirrels... Just...things are not going well now. Need to be stronger than this. I NEED to be. I'm so damn lonely though. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Monday, January 14th, 2008
6:34 pm	It's the new year... And as usual, it got off to a rip-roaring fantastic start. I wish. I was in emergency for the actual new year holiday. I was in a lot of pain and thought I was dying because of things that were going on, but no. That didn't happen, hooray. And of course, the doctor says...drum roll..."THERE IS NOTHING WRONG!!!". Sorry doc, there is. You just don't know what it is, and neither do I, so I'm going to ignore it again until I have another episode like over the holiday. Then I'll go to a different doctor, one that doesn't look like he just stares at my chest when he talks to me. Grandma broke her ankle and is in the nursing home now recovering. Grandpa was just diagnosed with terminal cancer. He had a full body scan to determine how long he has to live. Results aren't in yet. I'm doing good considering, staying positive and enjoying the things that I can. I have most of my vacation days already planned for this year, and my mega fun travel starts in March for Jon's birthday. Mostly though, I just miss her. Current Mood: sad, but staying positive...?? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 17th, 2007
4:26 pm	Wow It's cold outside. There's a bunch of snow. I love my job. I will be 24 in two days. I wish I could see Jon more, but I still love him and appreciate the hard work he does for us. I ate too much chocolate. That is all. Current Mood: cheerful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 6th, 2007
5:22 pm	Postey Yeah, I took a hiatus from livejournal...and let me tell you, it isn't ending just quite yet. I will eventually post more when I feel like it. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 24th, 2007
10:49 am	Grr I'm using my stupid old computer right now. I hope it doesn't crap out on me. Damn other computer, not working and taking so long to get parts in and stuff. Life kind of blows at the present moment, but I suppose we all have times like that. Florida trip was fun. Beach time, nature time, shopping time, drinking time. Oh, and pool time. Very relaxing. My work hours are changed now to 6am-2pm every week day, unless I'm covering for our 2nd shift gal, like I will be doing July 2nd. Then it's 2pm until 10pm. Well I'm gonna go now and maybe work on the crappy things in life. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 1st, 2007
4:41 pm	No computer I don't know how long my computer will be down. Hopefully I'll get it back soon. Life has been going goodish, otherwise. Later. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 15th, 2007
4:14 pm	It's rainin' outside. My car is back in my possession once more. They buffed out the scratches a bit so they are less noticeable. Hooray for free work done. I still really like working at the spice place. I really hope I'm hired and not the new guy. Well, I hope he gets hired also, but only if I get hired first. Apparently there will be 2 interns over the summer. What the hell we are all going to do, I don't know. I'll just sit on my butt if they'd pay me for it, but I'd be all too happy to actually work for my money because it would get really boring doing nothing. I enjoy the game Apples to Apples. I must purchase it if the chance arises. So...Star Trek isn't on today and I'm upset and unsure of what to do. I usually like exercising when it's on but now...I'm just sitting here...being lost and confused...someone help me! OH yeah, that's right. No one reads this really. Everyone except me has stopped posting anything at all. I guess sometimes Scott checks it, maybe Megan, and occasionally Paul...but that's about it. In other news...pretty much all of our weekends are booked up for the summer. Damn. Current Mood: What, no Star Trek? I'm LOST! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
3:52 pm	Life lesson of the day: Don't stick your fingers into a running fan. Not only does it hurt, it is also messy. Current Mood: oww (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 8th, 2007
3:53 pm	Whoooa, WHOOOOAOAAAOAOAOAAAOOOO That was supposed to be a song line. I got hungry. I'm going to go have some food. Life is good still. Please stay good and please let me be a permanent hire soon... (2 Comments |Comment on this)